


False Advertising

by vulpeculavolans



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: WHY!!! IS IT GREEN!!!!!, written purely because I'M MAD THAT IT'S GREEN!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 02:23:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17592824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulpeculavolans/pseuds/vulpeculavolans
Summary: Peter takes the RUBY7 out for a spin through the Martian desert and finds himself grinding his teeth.





	False Advertising

After he wakes up alone, Peter Nureyev spends a lot of time thinking about the RUBY7. He thinks about Jet Secooliac and the Iris of Jupiter, about the bane of law enforcement across the galaxy, about the most closely-held secret in crime.

Most of all, though, he thinks about Juno.

He can’t help it - every time he so much as glances at the sleek red paint that seems to glare off the RUBY’s exterior, Juno’s face pops into his head like clockwork.

_We’re not just taking this car because you like it, right?_

__

__

_Certainly not._

Peter groans and flips the engine off, pushing his hair back out of his face and resting his palms over his eyes. It’s ridiculous. It’s been - he doesn’t even want to think about how long it’s been, honestly. Long enough to get over it. Wounds old enough to know better. And since when did he care enough for it to even be a wound in the first place?

He runs his hands down his face, trying to ignore the frankly obnoxious red that creeps in past his fingers. He scowls, mostly without meaning to. It’s a terribly unattractive look on him, he knows.

He gets out of the car and leans against it. This far out, the sun is beating the Martian sand to a pulp, red dust stretching for miles. He reaches into his pocket and settles a pair of sunglasses on his nose. He categorically _is not_ pouting.

The metal of the RUBY’s exterior burns against his legs and he can’t quite find it in him to care, so long as he doesn’t have to look at the damn thing. He scoffs at himself, kicks some dust at his feet petulantly. He’s _sulking_. Peter Nureyev doesn't sulk. Huffing a sigh, he runs his hands through his hair again, taking a step back and lowering his glasses to stare at the stupid car. He plants his hands on his hips, his eyes narrowed and brow lowered. _There must be something. There’s always something._

The solution’s so simple he chastises himself for not thinking of it sooner.

Two hours later, he’s flirting hollowly with a semi-attractive mechanic as he walks him through his options.

“...and then, of course, there’s always a nice midnight blue or purple, something to really set off…”

Peter is only half listening, eyes flitting around the garage disinterestedly, and he knows he should probably be paying attention but he can’t quite bring himself to it. The garage is uninspiring at best; there are cars hoisted up on levers and workbenches covered in tools dotted around the place seemingly at random, all of it as benign as he had hoped it would be. He had to know nobody would recognise the car, after all.

His eyes stick on a wall of paint samples against the far wall, and he feels a smile start to quirk at his lips.

“Those all sound wonderful,” he interrupts with a hand on the mechanic’s arm, “but what about that one?”

“What about what?” he asks. Then, he follows Peter’s line of sight and frowns. “Oh. I mean - are you sure? It’s, uh. Isn’t it a little?...”

Peter eyes the lurid green with a sharp grin. “It’s perfect.”

Peter leaves with a newly emerald RUBY7, a smile on his lips, and a number he’ll never call tucked into his back pocket. All in all, it’s not a bad day.

**Author's Note:**

> this was written in a whole half hour because i'm Mad. why is it green. why on earth is it called the RUBY7 if it's green. WHY. W H Y.
> 
> tumblr: vulpeculavolans


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